Since BDSM is becoming more talked about, more accepted and more mainstream, even non-fetishists (aka vanilla) are adding a bit of kink into their bedroom (or dungeon) antics 😉
Even if you think you aren’t kinky, you will probably already have bits of BDSM in your bedroom habits.
Sarah Berry for Healthista
Now, I am not going to tell you about my BDSM hookups. I will tell you though, if you want to start introducing some BDSM practises into your relationship, it’s best to start with small little tweaks to your sexual routine.
You don’t have to begin with latex, whips and chains. (Unless you want to, of course!)
You also don’t have to inflict pain on each other unless it’s that that turns you on.
It’s best to open up about your desires to your partner, and agree a few new things to satisfy each other.
This can of course be embarrassing if you’ve not spoken about fantasies or kinky stuff before.
It’s best to try to be as honest as possible, and open as possible.
6 Good BDSM Ideas To Start With
Your partner might like the idea of being tied up, and you might like to have your back scratched.
You can take a look around your house to see if you can find some props you could use to spice things up.
This might be a belt from your husband’s work trousers to tie his hands, or your hairbrush to do a bit of spanking.
- Use a dressing gown belt to tie hands
- Go on BDSM dates to spice up nights out
- Blindfold with a satin scarf
- Gag with a pair of knickers
- Run ice cubes over warm skin
- Take on new roles and act out a scenario
- Kiss after sipping a hot drink
Top Tips For Getting Started With BDSM
Safe words
A safe word is a word you agree on that STOPS proceedings immediately.
It’s advisable not to use the word “no”.
That’s because “no” might be used during role play situations, and be mistaken for someone enjoying themselves.
Make sure your safe word is memorable, and that you agree it’s a definite end when it’s said.
Consent
Practising BDSM won’t work unless you can really be honest and open with your sexual partner.
You should both…
- …communicate with each other fully about what you’re about to embark in.
- …consent to the activities.
- …respect that if your partner says the safe word, or is not enjoying the practises, you’ve got to stop right away.
- …not act out (or upon) anything that you haven’t discussed unless you’ve had the consent to be spontaneous.
- …read the situation carefully.
Communication
When creating any new exciting sexual routine, it’s advisable to be open to hearing feedback about how your partner thought it went, and vice versa.
It’s all about making sure you can both create the best experiences for each other, therefore, it’s great to be flexible and adaptive.
You could ask “was the pressure ok?” or “how did [that] feel?“
Now It’s Over To You Guys…
This quick guide to BDSM should give you the basics if you’re looking to introduce a few low-key kinky practises into your bedroom antics.
I’ve hopefully drummed it into you to open up, communicate before and after, and agree consent and a safe word.
So off you go… enjoy!
